I just feel like sharing …

DebE —  May 16, 2012 — Leave a comment

This is a scene I wrote ages ago in an older version of the story, and I have just managed to reinstate it. It happens before either Jonas or Llew are aware of each others’ abilities, not that Llew’s is relevant here. For those who don’t know, Jonas is of a race called Syakara (sing. Syakaran) who are known for their superior strength and speed in the world of my story. It’s sort of a nothing scene, but, I think that’s why is works out of context:

“Now I need bait.” Hook in hand and the river nearby, Llew was tasked with catching dinner.

She flicked the grass with her fingers to see if she could stir anything to life.

“Like what?” Jonas asked, crouching beside her. Alvaro followed him down.

“Like—” Llew said, looking about. “That.” She pointed at finely flickering grass blades where she had just caught a glimpse of a cricket going into hiding.

Jonas squinted to see what she was pointing at, and then it leaped from its cover, disappearing into another clump of the yellow native grass. The grass shuddered and Jonas flung out his hand, catching the insect mid-flight.

“Like—” He opened his fist flat, clutching the creature’s powerful hind legs between two fingers. “This?”

Llewella grinned at him.

“That’s spittin’ distance to cheatin’, that is,” said Alvaro.

Jonas raised a dismissive eyebrow at him. Llew smiled, carefully took the cricket and grimaced as she sliced the insect’s head off with the hook. It wasn’t her favourite part of fishing, but it was necessary – she’d rather they died from a quick decapitation than writhed around with a hook through them, not matter how much more appealing that might be to the fish.

“Usually, catching the bait is as much a challenge as catching dinner,” she said, threading the hook through the fleshy abdomen. “There were a few hungry nights I could have done with you around.” She stood and headed for the water.

I do like the scene, though. It’s near the beginning of the rivalry between Jonas and Alvaro (of course, Alvaro isn’t Syakaran, so he’s already at a disadvantage … but is he?)




Deb E was born in New Zealand’s North Island, but her parents corrected that within months, moving south to Dunedin and staying there. Childhood nights were spent falling asleep to cover versions of Cliff Richard and the Shadows and other Rock ’n Roll classics played by her father’s band, and days were spent dancing to 45 LPs. Many of her first writing experiences were copying down song lyrics. She graduated to scientific reports when she studied a nematophagus fungus in the Zoology department of the University of Otago, trading all traces of popularity for usefulness… then traded both for fiction. Mum of one human & four fur-babies.

No Comments

Be the first to start the conversation!

Wanna talk about it?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s