I’ve been Pitch Slapped

DebE —  July 22, 2011 — 3 Comments

With great thanks to The Canary!

I sent in my brief blurb that I put together a few months ago and they ripped it to shreds and built it back up for me.

As I am, admittedly, an amateur writer and I started on my “novel” simply as a way to entertain myself, never expecting to get quite so carried away with it, I have a lot to learn of the writing craft, yet. And with the help of CanarytheFirst(and let us not forget TheOtherCanary) I am one step closer to Mastery (though I must admit that I never expect to attain it, the journey is enlightening!).

What’s fabulous is that this blurb review helps highlight not only the things in the blurb that I need to strip out or strengthen, but it encourages me to revisit what I have written so far to ensure that my plot is as strong as my revised blurb should be. I believe that the plot I have in mind is strong. But I know that there are some steps along the way that I need to develop more fully to realize it.

On that note, I wish to apologize to my two readers – who I appreciate greatly (love and kisses for your interest in my story), but I do need to go back and alter a couple of scenes – one fairly fundamentally, the other less so (more of just a little character development). One reason that I haven’t been churning out the work of late is that one of said scenes has been niggling at my mind. Not always directly, I might admit. Often, I have been bothered about how exactly to move forward in light of how things are currently set up. And I keep coming back to a sense of who Jonas is and what he has done in his past. And, yet again, I have muzzled this reckless, quick-tempered young man – I changed my original view of his reaction to the deaths of his wife and child just for the sake of a conversation scene, so that he could say “the right thing” for what I wanted to happen next… But it isn’t right. He should still have reacted extremely violently. It’s who he is. So I am going to put that back – it’s not directly written in the story, and I don’t think it ever will be, but it’s important for me to know, and drop hints at. It means that I have to re-write the conversation between Jonas and Hisham.

Another thing I don’t like is the scene with Llewella and Cassidy’s mother… I just don’t like it. I think I will take it out altogether. Anyway, you can see that I have quite a lot of further planning to do. I also need to print out what I have done and put some red pen through it. I know that some authors say to just write and then edit. But I can’t continue if my back story is fundamentally flawed. I have a plan in the back of my mind, but I must commit it to paper or computer so that can see the weaknesses in it before I write another 50K words.

Yesterday I began a spreadsheet in which I am going to detail what each character was doing/feeling at various times before and during the novel’s time-frame.

I also need to write the scenes I keep intending to have in the story – at the moment, Llewella and Jonas’ relationship just kind of springs up. I want more interaction between them earlier on – but no, not mushy stuff, that’s not where I’m going with this. Plus, the more conversations they have, the more back-story we get, especially regarding Jonas. And another thing I wish to do is to showcase their powers more. I have one scene up my sleeve for that purpose.

In the meantime, I am also working on TWO short story contest entries! Indeed! One of which is due by the end of this week, so I must away and write that, I guess… although, now I am keen to revisit WotW. Oh well. Needs must.




Deb E was born in New Zealand’s North Island, but her parents corrected that within months, moving south to Dunedin and staying there. Childhood nights were spent falling asleep to cover versions of Cliff Richard and the Shadows and other Rock ’n Roll classics played by her father’s band, and days were spent dancing to 45 LPs. Many of her first writing experiences were copying down song lyrics. She graduated to scientific reports when she studied a nematophagus fungus in the Zoology department of the University of Otago, trading all traces of popularity for usefulness… then traded both for fiction. Mum of one human & four fur-babies.

3 responses to I’ve been Pitch Slapped


    “I believe that the plot I have in mind is strong. But I know that there are some steps along the way that I need to develop more fully to realize it.”

    That’s a great way of putting it. So often, it’s not quite what we write, but how we write it. Of course, having a great “what” never hurts!


    OOoh nice post! 🙂 Nice to finally wander here, and I look forward to reading the trials and tribulations of another fantasy writer 😀

    *waves poms poms*

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